Movie Review: Piranha 3DD

Piranha 3DD Review 

(DVD/Bluray)

She may be all pretty and perky on the outside. But don't believe this masquerade

They say don't judge a book by its cover. But with this film you certainly should. Looking at the promotional poster above you expect semi-nude women with large cleavage and some scary fish. And that is essentially what you get. 

I never saw the first film but I doubt you will need to, to understand the terrible storyline. The film has been classified as a self parody, which I was thankful for, knowing that it was not attempting to be serious. But still it was so unbelievably silly I could not stop laughing... but in disbelief. The gags were crude and all about sex which would probably only make 14 year old boys laugh. The script also seems like it was written by an immature teenager with lines such as "Josh cut off his penis because something came out of my vagina!" well at least she got straight to the point. But still, hardly invigorating stuff.

Although there were some actors who I've seen before in relatively decent roles: Danielle Panabaker (Layla in Sky High) and Katrina Bowden (Cerie in 30 Rock), their performances weren't great. It was probably not much their own fault, especially with what they had to put up with regarding the script and the directing. I was especially annoyed that the once great Christopher Lloyd (Back to the Future, Who Framed Roger Rabbit) was in this film, a definite black spot on his career. There were other guest star appearances from the likes of David Hasselhoff, whose role was to go along with consistent crappy references to Baywatch, and Gary Busey who played a seriously minor role at the beginning. But there was no way they could salvage this film. I don't think anyone could.

Not even The Hoff can save this film

The film was even in 3D to make it even more gimmicky. It was not used to good effect either: simply containing props that stuck out of the screen. Nothing we haven't already seen before.

So in conclusion: awful script, terrible acting, pointless 3D and nothing visually impressive (except for the women perhaps). But if you enjoy carnivorous, psycho fish eating the flesh off bikini clad girls. Go ahead! Enjoy! 

What worries me most is that there might be a third! As the tagline says "No Body Is Safe" and I agree.

2/10